Changing of the Seasons: Dealing with Change

Happy summer friends! It’s been a hot minute (or few months?!) since my last blog, but I’m baaack with some fresh new content, new topics, and, of course, a few surprises. When I started blogging, I committed to you, and to myself, that this blog would remain authentic, raw, real, and beneficial for my readers. I won’t blog just to blog and I won’t blog if it doesn’t feel like my content  is coming from a place of authenticity. Safe to say, I’m feeling inspired. Recently, I had a really great chat with one of the ladies in my group coaching session (Health Coach over here, in case you missed the memo), about a topic that seems to be a challenge,  not only in our lives, but in the lives of our clients, followers, and friends…and it has to do with change. Accepting the “Changing of the Seasons.”

Changing of the Seasons: Say What?!

Life is crazy. Sometimes it feels as though you’re just at the point of truly adapting, and then…things change. All. The. Time. I’ve always assumed I handled change pretty well, and , dare I say, even embraced it. I mean, I moved states away from home.  I enjoy experiencing new places and making new friends. And, aside from that one time when I was eleven and threatened to chain myself to the floor of our house when my parents broke the news that we were moving, I felt like I handled changes very rationally.  But after the initial excitement ends, then reality and adaption set in. “You mean, things are going to be different?”;  “I have to change?” or even more scary “I already HAVE changed?!”….shut. up.  It’s not an easy pill to swallow, no matter who you are. We are creatures filled with habits, memories, and comfort zones that are difficult to shed. Some are good, but some can be damaging and keep us from progressing. We hold onto everything because there’s a fear of the unknown. There’s a fear of change. There’s a fear that “the next step” or “moving on” won’t live up to the dream we imagine or we’ll  never get “that feeling” back. Cue the sad music…

However, just like the seasons change every year, so do we. Maybe not as cyclical, but our lives will always evolve. Our goals, aspirations, commitments, relationships, and even ideals change….and we need to accept that it’s ok.  I’m not the person I was when I was 18…or 23…and that’s a good thing. I don’t have all of the same friends, same relationships,  same perceptions, or even same goals and aspirations. Sometimes looking back, I have a hard time with that. Feelings as mild (or not so mild) as “I miss the days when…” to self-depricating thoughts like “What did I do wrong?  Or “Why did I make that choice?”  start to pop up.  The nostalgia. The questioning. The longing for what once was. It’s a dangerous ground. Do you feel me?  Then I realized, so many great things have come from being a different person today….and so many great things will come as I evolve even more. It’s coming to that understanding and changing your self-talk when it comes to change that can really make a massive difference.

Change Happens:  I get it. So Now What?!

Now, I don’t want to leave you hanging without a few takeaways and suggestions on how to deal with this concept.  Maybe you struggle with one, two, or zero of these challenges, but I’ll try to keep them pretty general. If there’s something specific that you’re struggling with, feel free to contact me directly on my Contact Page.

• Physical changes as we get older: News flash. We aren’t getting any younger. Unless you have an amazing plastic surgeon or chummed it up with Ponce De Leon back in the day, you’re probably going to look a little different than you did 10, 15, 20 years ago. But instead of lamenting on the changes, note the positives. Point out the beautiful things you love about yourself. Maybe you have a better relationship with your body now. Maybe you’ve experienced the unbelievable honor of carrying and delivering a child. If you’re truly unhappy with something, maybe you’re in a better position to change it than you were years ago. Focus on the beauty of aging and the experiences manifested through these changes.

• Friendships: This is a tough one. Some friendships last forever. And that’s fantastic. I have a few great friends that I’ve known for years, and new friends that I know will be in my life for a long, long time. But, sometimes, friends part ways. Sometimes, friendships aren’t healthy for you to be in from the beginning. There isn’t always a big blow out. A blame game doesn’t have to ensue. I’ve found this one tough, particularly because I have a hard time letting go (another topic sufficient for a different blog post). I have a hard time dealing with the thought of someone not liking me or letting someone down.  I want to analyze and I want to know what I did wrong. But, truthfully, sometimes you just have to let it be. I truly believe people come in and out of our lives at the right time. Some stay with us forever. And some don’t. The same applies to relationships.  Again, changing of the seasons.

• Lifestyle: I remember the summer after college when the real world hit. Real jobs. Real bills. No schedules set in place. No summer breaks. The consistency and comfort of college disappeared faster than Dunkin Donuts on National Donut Day. Going out every night (well, maybe not every night) soon became physically unrealistic and financially impossible. Then, things change even more. Relationships get serious. Children may come into the picture. Interests, jobs,  and priorities change. It’s easy, especially when we’re overwhelmed, to look back at past times of our lives and nostalgically lament. Snap out of it. We have put so much into being the people we are today. We’ve evolved. We’ve  matured (to a certain degree). Priorities have changed, but we’ve received so many fantastic blessings and gifts because of those changes.

Again, these are just a few examples of the “Changes of the Seasons.  I hope this gives you a sense of perspective. If anything, I hope a few of feel like you’re not alone when  you find yourself scrolling through old Facebook photos and/or  perusing actual photo albums  and feeling a bit down or anxious about change. I  hope you feel empowered to embrace natural progress and evolution. Change can be scary. Embrace the scary.

Until next time,

Xtina