MY RESPONSE TO COVID-19

One of my colleagues said something to me in a personal conversation long before the COVID-19 pandemic that really sets the tone for my blog today. We were discussing some of the intricacies that go along with personal tragedy, and to summarize a point he made, he said to some degree “I know it’s difficult to see this. And by no means does it make any of this right or ok; but you’ve come out on the other end of this, a different person. It’s what you do with that, that matters.” Through this simple statement, he voiced a lot of the internal conversations I’ve had with myself since Matt’s diagnosis and his passing. I know I’m not the same person; I’ve seen more. I’ve felt deeper. I have scars and battle wounds, but I’m tougher and less bothered by meaningless insecurities and obstacles. Which brings me to the present.

To be honest, I’ve had a really difficult time empathizing with all of the complaining and “woe is me” surrounding social distancing. Perhaps it’s because 2019 still reigns as the worst year of my life and I would take any of these inconveniences over what we experienced last year. Perhaps it’s because of 2019 that my perspective has just changed. To help myself gain the slightest bit of empathy, I try to think back to when 9/11 happened, and all of our school trips, including a trip to Europe that I had been looking forward to for AGES, was cancelled. I was SO upset. I didn’t speak to my father, who sat on the school committee and had a hand in making this decision, for days. How trite and ridiculous that seems. I’m almost embarrassed to even write it, but it also helps me identify what I needed to hear during that time; and, hopefully, this will resonate with some of you. 

Those effected most complain the least

I feel for those who have lost their jobs, lost loved ones, had to postpone their weddings, aren’t getting their well-deserved graduation ceremonies, are working tirelessly on the frontlines, fall in the high risk category, and/or know someone who is at serious risk. I’ve had at least two friends and/or acquaintances postpone their weddings, which they have prepared tirelessly for. Other friends, particularly those who work in the restaurant or service industry, have ZERO income right now. I have a myriad of family and friends in the medical field who are on the front lines every single day, working around the clock to attend to the massive influx of patients. And yet, I don’t hear or see them complaining. When you’re in the trenches and forced into an alternate reality, it gives you little time to complain or lament; in effect, you’re just trying to figure out how to adjust and survive.  To all of you, this will change you, just as 2019 changed me. This will change your perspective on the tribulations that come with, well, life and you’ll be armed with the confidence that you can handle whatever life has to throw at you. 

To others, seize the opportunity to change

It’s ironic that we are all so anti-change, yet, it’s through change that we are forced to grow. If this were to happen, say 5 years ago, I’m sure I would have been up in arms. I would have been anxious; as an extrovert who gains much of her energy from being around others, it would have been completely disruptive to my entire being. Granted, I also would have had Matt there to go through all of this with, so there’s that. But now, I’m just taking it all in stride. Instead of complaining about everything being closed and not having the option to see my friends, which by the way, was one of the major reasons I moved back into the city, I’ve focused my energies on how I can best utilize this time to learn, connect, help, and just be a better mom and a better human. 

Ways you Can Make the Most of Unprecedented Times

Virtually Reconnect 

I am a true believer in tangible social interaction; so no, I don’t think that video conferencing, FaceTime, Whatsapp, Zoom, and all of the other virtual platforms can truly replace hugs, touch, and in-person discussions. However, it’s pretty awesome that we have these options and opportunities; imagine if this were to happen even 20-30 years ago? This is a testament to how far we’ve come and how much more connected we can be with one another, regardless of distance and quarantines. 

Last night, I had a video conference with my dad, sister, and brother-in-law, all of whom live states away, just to catch up. While, I would consider our family relatively tech-saavy and consistent communicators,  we never make the time to do something like this; life is just too busy and we’re all doing so much all the time, it’s hard to schedule group chats. However, now, we’re almost forced into it. And it was awesome. 

Your ability to re-connect is now, more than ever, not geographically confined. So, consider utilizing your favorite video call platforms (I personally like Zoom if you have access, but FaceTime, Skype, and Google Hangouts are also great options) and setting some time aside, whether it’s through a virtual happy hour, virtual play date, brunch, or coffee date, to reconnect. 

Think Outside the Box at Work

For some of us, this is easier said than done. Prior to my current role, I worked for a marketing agency, and because of that, most of my work could easily be done remotely. We were “wired” to be virtual (see what I did there). However, I currently work as the Director of Marketing for a medical group (non-essential), and our professional landscape relies on in-person procedures. So what to do? Many restaurants and shops, specifically those who rely on in-person experiences and foot traffic, are grappling with the same challenges. Which, BY FORCE, makes you think outside the box; it’s a call to get creative and, honestly, discover new avenues to provide the services that traditionally saw little disruption. Led by the education field, which quickly armored itself with the opportunity to teach remotely and virtually, we’ve all been called on to quickly figure out a way to adapt. As employees, now is a unique time through which YOU can brainstorm, show value, and help your respective businesses think outside the box in ways to maintain a revenue stream and, at the very least, stay relevant in the minds of consumers. A few of the early adaptions I’ve seen include: virtual consults/visits, remote cocktail and cooking classes, carry-out and food/beverage delivery from traditional establishments, pre-pay packages, live-streams, and virtual simulations. Honestly, with the way technology is evolving and the rate at which it’s utilization is becoming dominant by the day, many of these concepts will be REQUIRED. So, seize the opportunity to be a thought leader instead of floundering. 

Learn something new or “get around to it”

Always wanted to take that online course? Write a blog? Read a book? Learn a new skill? Now. Is. The. TIme. Checkout online course directories like Udemy, Coursera, and even local universities. Honestly, it’s super simple to start a blog these days. It’ll cost you next to nothing (if not nothing). Perhaps you’ve wanted to learn how to vlog (video-blog)? All you need is your phone and a platform (Youtube or even Instagram) to start. 

Perhaps there’s a project you’ve been putting off around the house; or a side hustle you’ve been thinking about getting into, but put off? Now’s the time to research, plan, and explore. If you have kiddos, a lot of museums and places of play are offering online experiences and classes FOR FREE. Gyms, fitness companies, and studios are offering online classes and live-streams to members AND non-members to give you some extra movement because we can’t Netflix all day, every day. I’ll be working a lot of the “A Matter of Hope” projects we have coming soon!

Give Back and Support Local

Community service and giving back, while idolized, is often disregarded when the rest of life takes precedent. However, it’s as important as ever to flex those good deed muscles and do what you can to help others in need.

Check out local organizations who cater to those greatly impacted by COVID-19  and see how you can help. For example, with the schools closing in Baltimore, many families were left in crisis, concerned about their ability to feed their children. The community immediately mobilized, offering food pick-up options at the local schools and continuing to provide meals to those in need. See if you can help any of your elderly neighbors who may be putting themselves at risk by running normal errands.

If you are financially able to, still patronize your favorite spots: Restaurants, bars, and local businesses are getting really creative in ways they can still serve you, while maintaining a revenue flow to support their employees. Do what you can to support them; whether that’s ordering food, drinks, purchasing gift certificates, taking advantage of pre-pay packages, etc. Stay engaged with other businesses, whether it’s following them on social media, sharing their promotions/content, and or taking part in virtual classes and events they have. It helps them spread the word so, when things do return to business as usual (because they will), they have a much larger audience than they had pre-COVID19 and can, hopefully, recoup some of the loss and hits they’re taking right now.

Take Advantage of the mandatory DT with your family

Go on walks; play in the backyard; watch movies together; have your “date” when the kids go to bed or are napping. Do all the things you usually put off because you’re too tired or don’t have time because you’re running to this event, working late, or are just too tired from the exhaustion of high-speed life. 

Time outside is still important, so do what you can to abide by social distancing rules while getting fresh air. Also, and I cannot emphasize this enough, fit exercise in. Whether it’s through outside runs/walks or indoor dance parties with your little one, movement is a fantastic stress reducer and imperative to staying healthy. 

These are just a few of the many ways you can change your response to this pandemic. There are realities out of your control, but you are ALWAYS responsible for your actions and reactions to these circumstances. For parents, forced to home school your children, cut yourself a little slack. You aren’t trained teachers, and no one expects that of you. These are extraordinary times. Do what you can. To all of the students missing out on their graduations, sports games, and monumental events, I know it sucks and it’s not the norm; it’s not fair. Unfortunately, there will be many instances in life that aren’t fair. I apologize if that’s harsh, but it is what it is. 

So, without getting on a soapbox, I encourage you to take this COVID-19 induced isolation as a time to change, to grow, and realize this temporal situation is not the end of the world. It takes the actions of the many to prevent tragedy for the few (relatively speaking). We don’t often have this opportunity to directly effect outcomes; so I urge you to suck it up buttercup, look beyond yourself, and embrace this opportunity to dig deep. We will all get through this together because we have no choice. 

• 

Until next time friends, 

Xtina